It's only two hours now until the next round starts. I'm turning 29 tomorrow. In one sense, I'm starting to feel a little old. The grey hairs are plentiful which is strange to me, but I'm told it makes me look distinguished or something. In fact, it's taken over so much that some people even mistake it for HIGHLIGHTS. C'mon, I know I have the boyish good looks of my man J. T. but seriously... I refuse to spend more than 12.95 + tip on my hair. In fact, I just got my free haircut after my eighth hole punch in my Supercuts card.
In another sense, I don't think I've aged a bit since I finished puberty. Somehow, I feel like the same guy. In ways, I've matured. In others, I've regressed. I'm not sure what to make of it all. The longer I live as a single person, the more selfish I think I become. My family tells me that I need to find a mission in life. I think that is probably good counsel.
Working in a ministry situation for several years killed a bit of my desire to do that, but the motivation is slowly returning. It's not that it wasn't completely worthwhile. It was. Overall, it was a great experience. It's just that when ministry becomes your job, it's easy to lose focus and get caught up in the day to day frustration of working life. Somehow, in your mind, you start to associate that frustration with spiritual life in general. That's been my personal experience. I'm convinced every person in ministry needs a break every few years and I think some of us live our faith more effectively in a secular environment.
The point of all this is that I want to find a mission for my last year in my twenties. I'm hopeful that God will use me somehow this year. I'm exploring some ways to serve and trying to sense if God really cares about which one I choose. I think He probably does. That brings up the issue of general will vs. specific will, but I'll leave that for another post. I'm trying desperately to stay on topic.
An hour and half now....
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